How can I be a Naughty Cat?

This morning I am making a few innocent rustling noises. Suspicious human comes rushing in.
'Oh that's okay, Sasha. You've climbed into your paper bag? You look so sweet!'
She goes off.
'I have to go out, Sasha. I need to shop for food before the heat sets in.'
Rattle rattle. In comes the shopping trolley. On goes the hat. Doors and windows shut and locked. Airconditioning off. Fans off.
'Oh there you are, Sasha. You've thrown all the bears off their chair. That's okay! You can sit in it if you want. Don't you look sweet!'
Snap, snap with the camera.

What can I do to be naughty and not sweet?
I pulled all the towels off the rail in the bathroom a while ago. She just put them back on and didn't say anything.

She doesn't know where I am now. Maybe I am sitting thinking of what to do next, when it gets cooler. We already had walkies early this morning.

Ratso

'If you don't eat up your foods, Sasha, you will get skinny and people will think you are a rat.  You wouldn't like to be called Ratso, would you?'

I stare at her. So, she is brushing my coat and some of it is flying off. No need to be rude. It's hot,  we know that. I don't feel like eating much when it is hot!'

Our Alexa can make animal sounds. She played a lot of animal sounds for us, yesterday.  Lynettea started off with 'cat' to amuse me. Then she asked Alexa if she knew any other animal sounds.

Well, Alexa really got stuck into it. She kept on saying to ask her for another. Lynettea was racking her memory. Pig, dog, kangaroo. Not all that interesting to me.

Then she tried 'rat'. My head swiveled towards the speaker. I couldn't work out where the rat was hiding.

But please don't call me 'ratso'!

sometimes I get bear to sleep with me. 

It's cooler sitting in the sink!

I was forced to change my morning routine because of the heat.
Lynettea suggested we go out for walkies as soon as she had sprinkled water on the plants and refilled the birdbaths.
I staggered down the hall, still half asleep.
'What's the matter, Sasha? I've been busy for ages already,' she said.
I managed to struggle into the harness and off we went. My nose and ears led me to all sorts of interesting spots in the garden and birds were darting around.
Later they will visit the birdbaths under the grapevine and Lynettea can laugh at their antics from the kitchen window. She thinks they are entertaining.
When we came in, I sat in the sink for a few minutes to cool down.

News from th Pond Fish

The Pond Fish tell me they have two new videos on YouTube.  They are always so proud of their amateur videos.
https://princessaurorapondfish.com/2019/01/13/watch-pond-fish-relaxing-on-a-warm-summer-morning-on-youtube/

I notice they still haven't had anything to say. They mostly just swim around looking colourful.
A small child came in to look at the fish. I didn't see him, as I went to the cost under my bus seat. Lynettea peered in at me, but she didn't let the little boy come close.

https://princessaurorapondfish.com/2019/01/13/watch-pond-fish-relaxing-on-a-warm-summer-morning-on-youtube/

It's hard to be a mancat around here

'Ooh. My little tweeties has woken up. Aren't you a gorgeous cat. Look at your pretty fur and your sweet little legs! Would you like something, Sasha?
Oh, your plate is empty. Would you like some of your jelly food? Or aren't you hungry?'
Starts patting.
'What a pretty kitty!'
I bolt out of my cat hole.  So what if it is a heatwave outside. I can't demonstrate how tough I am with this sort of conversation going on.

Is there something nearby I can stalk and then bound up with deadly intent and slaughter for lunch? No! It's too hot. Everything tasty and wriggling is hiding at high noon under the relentless sun.
No showdown is possible.
Perhaps I will . . .

MEOW Here is the Tidiness Inspector

I took Lynettea out for a short evening walk. Just as well she has me to lead her around.  Meow!!!
And now I am demonstrating how to bash the ball around the speed circuit.  Clatter clatter meow MEOW.
'What is wrong dear Sasha?'
Nothing is more wrong than usual. I dash up and down the hall a few times.
But wait. I need to carry out one of my jobs. Tidiness Inspector. I hardly ever get the chance to do this.

What are they doing?

Well, I did get up, very suddenly.
I had to alert Lynettea and nearly knocked her over as I bolted into the bedroom and under the bed.
She went to the front door and when she opened it she found there were two girls, who said they were doing volunteer work.
They had come to read a Bible Verse to me.
But I decided not to come out and I heard the gate click as they went away.
Lynettea just said nobody is coming into the house. I think I will stay here. I don't like stress.